We’re about to get down and dirty up in this Minimalist blog today! Grab your battle axes warrior princesses because today we’re talking about all the dark, taboo parenting topics that ignite the Mommy Wars signal fires. I’m going to share with you the top 10 parenting discussions to avoid on social media. If you’re a new or soon-to-be parent, you’ll be glad you pinned this post for later!
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12 Parenting Discussions To Avoid On Social Media
Just do the vaccinations. Or don’t. Whatever.
But whatever you do, don’t talk about it.
This is a hot topic. Like, it’s so hot, I’m not even sure I should be touching it with a 10 foot stick right about now, but I’m gonna. #rebel
To be quite frank, I’m not sure why women have such a heavy opinion on this topic. It’s not like we have firsthand experience operating the plumbing for ourselves. Let your Husband decide.
Breast vs. Bottlefed
Imma just keep it real, Mama. I don’t care how you feed your baby just so long as you do feed him. And you really shouldn’t care how another mama feeds her offspring either as long as her kids aren’t going hungry. Even if they get hungry in public she should feed ’em. Ya feel me?
To Find Out or Not?
I’ve noticed lately there has begun to be a backwards shift toward not finding out the sex of the baby when a woman is pregnant. Some parents make the choice not to find out because they genuinely don’t care which sex their baby carries (and will insist to you that you shouldn’t care either). Others seem to have some kind of issue with using sonogram machines and sound waves on their unborn babies.
Natural vs. Medicated Births
Who really cares if a woman recognized her body needed a break after 12+ hours of hard labor so she opted for a sedative to help her relax for a few hours? Does this affect you? Nope. Or whose business is it if a woman knows that fear would limit her capacity to relax while passing a watermelon through an opening the size of a large orange so she chooses to use legal medications offered to her by her doctor to ease her transition? Hmm.
Personally- I chose to birth both of our children un-medicated, and things went as I planned. I wouldn’t have had much of choice either way since I was around 7cm dilated by the time we arrived at the hospital for both deliveries. Shew. Y’all. That’s a story unto itself for another time!
Vaginal vs. Cesarean
Seriously. This controversy blows my mind. I’ve watched The Business of Being Born (you can find it here) and I totally get how C-sections are pushed on pregnant women more often than they need to be, but the fact of the matter is this. I think it’s safe to say that most women would not choose to have major abdominal surgery rather than to let things go the way their bodies and babies direct things. There is a reason women birth babies through C-sections, and it is almost always because one or both of their lives is in danger.
Of course, there are those women who choose to have a second child and therefore a second cesarean delivery is scheduled. I can’t say I wouldn’t go that route with them if I were in their shoes. Birth is scary no matter how you get ‘er done. Oh, and P.S., VBAC ladies, you girls are in a league all your own. You seriously rock!
Car Seat Controversy
Car seats. Oy! If you’re a seasoned mama then you know how seeing pictures on your social media of adorable babies only half buckled in their car seats can make your skin crawl. This topic makes the list less for the strong opinions involved and more because of how mamas go about instructing a person on the correct and incorrect ways of installation. Don’t make someone feel like a crap mom for being ignorant (lacking knowledge). Moms judge themselves harder than anyone else. Be nice. Share a helpful how-to graphic on your page or something.
Homemade baby food, convenient store-bought jars, or grabbing an organic baby food pouch on the go. Which is best? Which is “the right way?” I think the same answer above applies here. Not your kid. Not your problem… as long as baby is being fed, and isn’t going hungry.
What about when to begin solids?
Some moms decide to start feeding their little ones asap at around 4 months of age while others don’t feed their babies a bite until after 12 months in age.
Why the huge gap? Until recently, moms were taught they could begin solids at 4 months if baby seemed interested, and some still believe this is best. In recent years, the World Health Organization (WHO) has corrected the standard of when to begin feeding to be 6 months of age. However, there’s no “rule” that says you have to begin at 6 months. There are some breastfeeding moms who exclusively breastfeed for the first year of life only offering true solids (no mush) to their babies. This is called babyled weaning, and it’s one of many different options for feeding an infant.
The method that works for you is the method that is “right.”
Some people get their blankies in a wad over the idea of babies sharing a bed with their parents. I would’ve agreed with you before I gave birth to a tiny sleep Nazi. The Boy would not sleep separated from me and even when he was nursing the entire night he could only manage to sleep in 1 or 2 hour intervals. #icanteven doesn’t even begin to describe it. I can hardly even talk about it without feeling the sleep deprived crazy creeping back in on me!
I share that story with you to say, if baby and Mama are sleeping, butt out!
The Diaper Discussion
Cloth vs. disposables is gaining some momentum in the world of controversial parenting topics. And don’t get me started on the parents that do both. Pick a side already! Amiright??
Why do other parents even care how a mom diapers her baby? Or if she doesn’t diaper them at all? Google elimination communication. I’ll wait. The only valid reason I can think of for pushing cloth diapers is for the environment, but I’m sure there’s someone out there who can spin that argument and make cloth diapers sound equally as tough on the world’s resources. So who knows.
Maybe the parents that use both have been right all along? lolz
You wanna hear the discipline philosophy of this broken, far from perfect Mama? Okay. <3
I treat my children the way I would treat a fellow adult because that’s exactly what I want them to be one day. Adults. I cuddle my kids, but I don’t coddle them. There are consequences for their negative actions. There are also consequences for their positive actions when they excel in a situation.
I think every parent should consistently reinforce the behaviors they value in their children. Some parents do this with time out, some use sticker charts, and sometimes some parents even spank. Discipline is a very personal decision that should be made between two parents, not two parents + the Internet. Talk to your spouse and stay out of the chat rooms.
And one more…
Working Moms vs. SAHMs
No matter what you think is best, no matter what your family has chosen to pursue in this arena, and no matter what things may look like from the outside looking in, you have no idea what or why a family makes the choices it does. If you want to be a working mom and you are then more power to you. If you want to be a stay-at-home mom and you are then congrats, Mama. If things are the other way around for you and you really, truly want to make a change then do it.
That’s one of the reasons I started this blog. I’m a SAHM and I needed validation outside my home without actually leaving my home. Plus living on one income month-to-month is hard. You can start a blog, too, if you think that’s what you need. Read my post about how to start a blog of your own in this post.
The bottom line, Mama? Just leave your judgement at the door and throw kindness around like glitter. The world needs kindness to stick to everything.
Quit trying to be right and just be nice. Opinions are a lot like those leftovers in the back of your fridge, Mama. We’ve all got ’em, but ain’t no one gonna wanna hear about it. We have our own fridge troubles to deal with. Not talking about your opinions doesn’t devalue them, it just makes you look a heck of a lot less one-sided and a helluva lot more open-minded.
It all boils down to this, Mama. Do what feels right to you for your kids and your family. Someone else’s opinion on a parenting topic, be it someone on the Internet or even someone close to you in your family, doesn’t have to be your opinion. We don’t all get to be “right.”
Sure- there are a few of these topics that have some medical facts backing one choice over another, but more likely than not your kid is gonna turn out just fine no matter what path you choose. Kiddos are resilient that way.
*Disclaimer- I’m not a doctor of any type so if there’s anyone’s opinion you should be after it’s the opinion of your OB or your child’s pediatrician.
Which parenting topics do you keep off-limits online?? Have you ever been given crap when you shared one of your controversial parenting opinions? Let me know in the comments below!
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